Every little love adds up
May 28th, 2009
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Imagine you just came up to me in the street and asked me:
“Hi Michelle, how are you?”
And imagine this was my answer:
“Eh. I have so much to do today. I had a doctor’s appointment at 8am and sat in the waiting room for over an hour!”
Now imagine that instead THIS was my answer:
“I’m well, thanks. You know what, I’m almost all done reading this new book and it’s great. Do you want to borrow it?”
Lately I’ve become pretty interested in the energy we give off and the energy we take in. While this sounds all flowerchild at first, I find that most of my private clients ‘get’ this idea of energy instinctively. And I’m sure everyone does.
How does it feel to hear my story of the doctor’s office, versus my offer to borrow a book? Choosing to look on the bright side really works – not as a distraction from the dark side, but to purposefully shift your energy. I might still think in my head “Boy that sucked sitting in the waiting room all morning.” But by not speaking those words, I don’t reiterate the negative thought in my own mind and I don’t share that negative energy with you.
Simple enough.
Here are three ways I’ve found to rein in my thinking when negativity runs rampant:
1. Accept what is.
This is something I learned from my yoga teacher training and it’s been invaluable. As soon as you accept a situation and stop hoping it changes or trying to change it, you can relax. If I freak out because I’m late to a meeting – am I still late? Yup. If I can’t change it, I might as well accept it as truth.
2. Take responsibility for everything.
This doesn’t mean you suddenly have to do ALL the laundry. This just means that in every situation, there is at least a piece of it that you are responsible for. When you stop thinking like a victim, you start to feel in control. If I’m late to a meeting I could blame my husband for asking a favor of me before I left. I could start conjuring up all the reason why I hate the fact I have to go to this meeting. Or, I can take responsibility for my lateness because I took too long drying my hair and chose to do that instead of getting out of the house. But man, my hair looks good!
2. Find little loves in life.
I call my three cats my Little Loves because…they are. But there are lots of little loves or joys in life that I’m pretty sure we don’t always recognize. My husband actually taught me this. He always notices small things – the pattern on a rooftop or a conversation two people are having behind us. What do you love? For me, it’s the way my kitties purr at night. And I love how my zen alarm clock chimes me awake in the morning. I especially love the water pressure in our shower. It’s perfect.
What about you? How can you tap into little loves and new ways of thinking to turn on magnificent energy in your life?
So true, such valuable reminders. And I think I need to get a chime alarm clock – where do I find one? Since I am not a morning person, might as well make them as good as possible, they are showing up anyway.
May 28th, 2009 at 3:54 pmAw. I call my pup my “little love” also and man do I appreciate her every single day. A great reminder to extend that attitude to everything else!
Now I will try and leave so that I’m not late to class where i inevitably stress about being late even though it’s too late to change it
May 28th, 2009 at 4:25 pmI couldn’t agree with you more on the energy concept. It’s amazing how some people can just drain the life right out of you and others make you feel better. Even though you can’t see it, I can totally ‘feel’ it. I want to get a kitty sometime soon! They are so sweet! My loves would have to be early morning sunrises, there’s just something about them. And watching things bake in the oven, I love watching the progression and all the bubblies.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:00 am-kristen
Fabulous post, Michelle. Your example of “How are you?” answers definitely hits home with me. It is an area I’ve worked on with myself over the past few years. No one likes to hear about all your negative experiences. Positive thinking and speaking is so much more pleasant.
I try to always remember this quote by Plato – Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. If I remember that I don’t dwell on the negative, but share the positive.
My loves are my husband’s laugh and smile when he thinks something is truly funny, my little pug snuggling next to me while I work and the smell of fresh cut grass and spring rain.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:54 amJodi – Thanks for commenting! The alarm clock IS fabulous. This is the one we have http://www.gaiam.com/product/gift-guide/gifts-by-occasion/wedding/digital+zen+alarm+clock.do
Amy – “Little loves” is probably the most normal thing I call my cats. I have lots of ridiculous names for them
Kristen – Thanks for all the great energy YOU have been bringing to this site lately!
Lori – Thanks so much. I love that quote! Your loves made me smile
May 29th, 2009 at 12:22 pmnice post
May 29th, 2009 at 1:38 pmLove your 3 ideas and especially the idea of “little loves.” Bella, my dog, is definitely my little love. For me, just thinking (and writing) so much about positivity has made it easier to embrace the good things in life. Also, having everyone in my life know about my attempt to become a happier person also really helps because then they will say to me, “Now that doesn’t sound very positive!” when I start to be negative. (Sometimes this can drive me crazy, but it really does help push me in a more positive direction). Great post! Again, I really love the “little loves” idea!
May 29th, 2009 at 2:47 pmWhat a lovely way to start the weekend…reminding me of gratitudes for: Emma cat purrs, Jay hubby purrs, Ellie, my dog, licking my feet, the bounty we have living in Northern California. It’s always about pets and food (oh, and love – of course;-) Thank you, Michelle!
May 29th, 2009 at 5:27 pmThanks for this post, Michelle, it was exactly what I needed to read today!
May 29th, 2009 at 6:33 pmGreat advice. And of course, my little loves are The Girls. . . I can’t go a day without them eliciting a smile.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:33 pmAwww, I just looked over to my sweet little puppy. She’s my little love!
May 30th, 2009 at 7:26 amReading this post is a “little love”. Thanks for all of the positive reminders – it works.
Love the Plato quote from Lori.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:43 am[...] This post was Twitted by lori1329 – Real-url.org [...]
May 30th, 2009 at 12:32 pmRebecca – thanks!
Positively Present – thanks for your comment! it sure is hard to be reminded by others in the midst of frustration to ’see the bright side’, isn’t it?
Karen – pets and food. me too!
Sara – oh, I’m glad! thanks for commenting!
Ricki – and because of you, The Girls elicit smiles in all your readers!
CulinaryWannabe – we’re all just a bunch of animal lovers aren’t we? can’t wait to meet your pup.
Heidi – Awww, sweet. thanks
May 31st, 2009 at 4:13 pmI love to feel the sun on my skin and hear my daughter ask me to ‘cuddle up in bed’ with her for a minute. I find that unhappy people have a hard time staying that way when you act positive and happy around them.
June 2nd, 2009 at 3:32 pmhow are you michelle
June 4th, 2009 at 1:54 amcame to you through lori’s post and i am so.happy i found a positive person here……yes i know how it works when you ooze positivity…..myself , i have practiced coming over my difficulties n finding those ‘little loves’ in my daily life…..my daughter’s smile( a special child), a bird chirping in my garden or even a flower blooming…..just anything…….you have to open up your eyes for that.
Heh… I was laughing as I read this because the “I have so much to do today” comment sounds a bit like my last e-mail to you. Actually one of my favorite things about teaching yoga is that it really reminds me to keep a good attitude because if I can’t be an example of that for my students, it becomes a “do as I say, not as I do” situation! For me it’s a challenge to find the balance between appreciating the positive, even in the middle of bad days and difficult circumstances, and feeling free to acknowledge when things aren’t going so well, and not feel obligated to put a positive spin on it. I totally agree that it’s important not to get caught up in negative thinking. On the other hand, I think there’s such a thing as being “falsely positive.” If people keep heaping demands on you until you’re so overcommitted you can’t breathe, it doesn’t work to say “at least I have a loving family.” Focusing on the positive DOES help, but it’s also important to give yourself permission to say “Hey – enough already! This is just too much for me and I can’t do any more!”
Whew, I got a little worked up here! Purely hypothetical, I assure you.
This is something I think a lot about, though… Creating a life in which you actually have the time to stop and smell those roses instead of speed-walking right past them.
June 8th, 2009 at 1:24 pmwhat a lovely post!!! i really am trying to focus more on postive in my daily life-I have so much to be thankful for! and i notice the more I take time to appreciate these things and look on the bright side, more and more wonderful things seem to happen! karma?
June 9th, 2009 at 9:03 pm