Your computer has been acting all funky or your phone goes haywire and the tech guy behind the counter says, “Turn it off and turn it back on.” You know this advice? It usually works. Oh, the Apple TV is being weird? Unplug it and plug it back in.
This, my friends, is known as starting fresh.
Kids understand this. Every day, Danny pulls my pots and pans off the shelves. He stands in them, both sneakers wedged into even my tiniest pot. (I have to wash them all, but I wait until he goes to bed so the effort isn’t wasted.)
The next day? He’ll happily do it all over again. Kids understand the value of starting fresh.
I also need a fresh start – sometimes 6 or 7 times a day, no joke. I find myself succumbing to frustration, to anger, to anxiety.
Inhale, exhale. Reset. It’s brilliant.
Relationships? Same deal. The closer you are with someone, the more likely you’ll need to unplug and plug in again, at some point. Things get tangled up. Our job is to recognize it before the tangle becomes a true mess and causes irreparable damage.
Step back. Restart.
But it’s not always easy. You know what I’m talking about.
We don’t like to admit we’re off track
When I’m feeling stressed and frustrated, I don’t want to admit I’m flying off the handle. When my relationships are breaking down I’m more likely to start blaming than to own my piece of the puzzle. So we stay tangled up, for fear of admitting our weakness.
We feel we’re too far gone
This is the “it’s no use” category of self sabotage. When we throw up our hands because we’ve come this far and there’s no use in trying to do it differently. I see this all the time when people talk about food. Why bother changing my diet now? I’ve been eating processed food for 40 years, it doesn’t matter if I change now.
Oh, it does. Are you brave enough to imagine a happier, more energized life?
We think it’s too much work
True – it is a lot of work to have those big conversations. With ourselves, our loved ones. It’s hard work to look at our lives and open ourselves to change. Taking a new path, accepting a fresh start, it’s really not for the faint of heart. The trouble is that when we avoid having to do the work today, we create more work for ourselves later on.
I know this is the truth every time I look at my overflowing pantry. If only I’d stopped and cleaned it out 6 months ago, I wouldn’t have such a huge mess now. Talk about needing a clean start.
We are simply afraid
Starting fresh is a wide, wide open and vulnerable place to be. It means throwing out what you think you know and trying something new.
Wait, if I don’t get angry the next time Danny throws a temper tantrum…what will I do instead? Will I teach him bad habits if I let him have his way? What if he never stops tantruming…like, ever?
That’s fear talking.
If I can’t have my morning coffee I think I might die. I love my coffee. What would I drink instead? How will I ever wake up? Why do I have to deny myself such a simple pleasure?
That’s fear talking some more.
I don’t have time for this. I don’t have the energy. If I drop this fight and apologize to my spouse and accept that I have been wrong…that makes me the problem. That makes me wrong, unfit, at fault, unworthy. Then what?
Those are excuses. And more fear.
Yet nothing feels better
In my life I’ve made a number of hard restarts. Each time it takes courage and effort. And each time I receive so much more in return.
Reset. Get un-stuck.
In fact, I have the perfect way for you to get a fresh start for your body and mind. Fly out of your own way and join us for this spring’s Reinvent Yourself 21 Day Detox. It’s a game changer.