My whole life, I ate rice pudding that required a knife to cut and was served on a plate. Never really thought to ask my mom why it was called “pudding.” Anyway, the answer would have been that this is how my great grandmother made it. So there.
My great grandmother didn’t speak English, and she didn’t have anything written down when it came to recipes. My mom often told me the story of how she’d watch her bake and step in to measure the handfuls of ingredients, pinches of spices. My mom wrote it all down. Now here I am, sharing it digitally.
Heather Kistilentz had long brown hair, a round face and freckles. I have no idea how to spell her last name, but nevermind. She was my best friend in 3rd grade. I’m not sure what that meant…we must have played together on the weekends? Hung out during recess? I remember listening to George Michael and Salt-n-Pepa together. It made me feel awesome to have a best friend. My very own!
Then Heather’s family moved away.
I wonder if today’s 3rd graders use email to stay in touch? Is there an elementary school Facebook? I hope not. It was sort of a lesson that needed to be learned early on, about the way people come and go in life and how to move on and meet new friends.
Extraordinary things happen in life that we take for granted. I remember staring for hours at my engagement ring, watching it flicker prisms across the room. Now I often forget it’s there. It’s still the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.
Max proposed to me in front of my whole family at Thanksgiving dinner. The bottle of Dom he bought to celebrate was empty, sealed and packaged but empty, making for an even more memorable engagement story. (Yes, the store refunded his money.) I didn’t care a bit. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was so filled with excitement. Someone LOVES me this much?? I’m going to be a BRIDE? I kept touching my ring, worried it would fall off.
So you’ve lost 12 pounds. You got a raise. You successfully balanced your budget. Or maybe you let yourself nap on the couch for once and you’re feeling much better now.
Celebrate!
Sounds corny. I know. But this question has been posed to me often in the past few years by wonderfully supportive friends and peers: “How will you celebrate your success?” The idea is that we tend to dwell on everything we’ve failed at, our disappointments. How can we put more emphasis on our happy times?
Say you had a big project at work that went really well, thanks to you. Now’s the time for a manicure, perhaps? A little treat to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be an actual ‘reward’ – it could just be a happy mindset, treating yourself to a pat on the back. But heck, if you did finish that big project, or maybe you did all the laundry AND the dishes AND returned those curtains to Target AND made a healthy homemade dinner…I say, go on, get the manicure.
Although I haven’t talked about it much publicly, home birth became an important choice for me during the last trimester of my pregnancy. Yeah, I know, I know – home birth??? Sounds so….pioneer woman!
That’s what I thought when I first heard about it. Plus, who wants neighbors hearing me bellow with labor pains? No thanks.
One meeting with the midwives was all we needed to feel the sense of comfort, patience and support that had been lacking at our previous hospital-based birth center. We were like, let’s do this!
After that, things fell easily into place.
A lot of the wishes I had for my birth were focused around bringing my baby into the world in the least traumatic, most healthful way possible. I would have to fight for this in a hospital. But the midwives’ values and ideas were totally aligned with my own.
On the radio the other day I heard a commentary about unwanted gifts. You know, all that stuff we give and get just because we feel like we have to. The woman on the program was adding up the cost of a gigantic vase she’d received. First, the cost of the vase itself. Second, the cost of storing it in her home (pro-rated based on the size of her house and monthly rent). Third, the more abstract but equally valid cost of her peace of mind – she said she looks at that thing and wishes she didn’t have it about 3 times per day.
The premise was that we waste a lot of money (and time and peace of mind) every year on the gifts we give and get.
A friend told me that her 3 year old niece makes lists of stuff she wants from the Toys R Us catalog. When presented with a gift wrapped in simple craft paper, the 3 year old declared, “I want a pretty one!” and refused to open it.
What does all of this say about our culture and the way we live our lives?
I know, I know. All the healthy tips in the world go right out the window when you get home and your son is screaming, “I WANT ICE CREAM!!” Before you know it, he’s eating ice cream, you’re eating ice cream, and wait a minute, you haven’t even figured out what to make for dinner.
I’ve heard from you moms over and over that you need ideas for how to feed your family well, how to take care of yourself with zero time, and what on earth to put in those lunchboxes.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… Those holiday TV specials seem to think so anyway. Perfect snow falls, families are loving and strangers help each other with heavy bags. Have your holidays been simply joyous?
Or have there been some sour spots? 9 out of 10 of you just nodded. It’s ok.
Please, who hasn’t had to deal with some kind of drama around the holidays – family related or otherwise? Just because it’s December doesn’t mean everyone is suddenly cheerful, loving and forgiving. It makes sense that we’d run into some buried-away sadness as we try our darndest to be jolly.
No worries. Complexity can be a good thing. (Think wine!) If happy feelings and not-so-happy feelings are all mixed up this week, that’s to be expected. A good way to deal with it is to practice gratitude. Notice I said “practice.” It doesn’t always come easy:
Start with the simple ones, whatever they are for you:
I’m grateful for my husband. I’m grateful for my health.
Move on to those that take extra effort.
Even though I miss my grandma like crazy around Christmas, I’m grateful for everything she taught me while she was alive. I’m grateful for her influence.
Then, spend some serious time practicing gratitude around things in your life that are downright painful.
I am grateful for difficult relationships because they teach me something about myself. Handling tough situations allows me to grow.
You get the idea. It’s a valuable exercise, and much more useful that letting our ears droop as we watch another Christmas go by that’s less-than-perfect. Instead, embrace the holidays for what they are – sweet and sour! Sounds delicious to me.
Here’s a great recipe that balances sweet and sour to its tasty advantage. Now, can you?
Sweet and Sour Cabbage and Bread Stew
3 to 4 cups torn pieces of whole wheat bread
2 large carrots, peeled and diced
2 large or 3 medium potatoes, diced (I used parsnips)
4 cups coarsely shredded green cabbage
…get the whole recipe here!
This year, my husband and I are doing the holidays a little differently. We’re still going to see the family and eat pumpkin pie, but we’ve decided to do it all in a different frame of mind.
Specifically, without guilt.
Do you ever feel guilty around the holidays? The first thing that comes to mind is food – we eat more than we should or the ‘wrong’ types of food and then beat ourselves up for it. Or maybe it’s guilt that you aren’t doing enough, aren’t throwing the most lavish party or buying the most perfect gifts.
Maybe it has to do with family. I know people who trek around on snowy holidays visiting 4 sets of parents! Do you feel you have to see everyone, make an appearance? Maybe this year you say, “See you next week” or “Let’s have dinner in February.” Would that be even remotely possible? Consider it.
One year we drove home from the holidays in our rental car, drank a bottle of wine and fell asleep on the couch. We were emotionally spent and mentally shaken. We left the car outside and totally forgot to return it on time. (Luckily, the car company didn’t charge us the hundreds of dollars in overage fees they could have – happy holidays to us! Whew.)
That is not how I want this season to end! It’s all about making choices that are right for us, drawing boundaries, and taking care of ourselves physicaly and mentally. Maybe one or two relatives will get annoyed. Maybe our front door will go without a festive holiday wreath. And maybe we’ll decline a party or two. Who cares?
My intention for the season is to bring happiness and joy into my life and the lives of those around me. How can I bring happiness? I’ll have to create it, and spread it. I will eat things that make my body happy, I will sleep until I am well rested, and I will spend time with people who make the holidays a celebration. I will not feel guilty about the choices I make.
What about you? What will you bring to the holidays?
Of course, one thing you’ll probably need to bring is something to eat! Here’s a super easy dip that everyone will love:
Holiday Hummus
1 15 oz. can chickpeas or white navy beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup roasted squash puree (any kind will do, I used Delicata)
1/4 cup tahini
1/4 cup olive oil
small handful fresh thyme leaves
S+P, to taste
Everything goes in the food processor – just blend it up. Try whole wheat pita or pumpernickel bread for dipping. It’s also great as a spread. Remember – it’s sweeter than hummus so it may not taste great on some vegetables. Experiment, and enjoy!
It took me three years from the time I decided to leave my career in advertising to when I actually did. I remember the first day I considered a career change – I was in my office with the door closed, searching the internet for nutrition schools.
After all, I had started college as a physical therapy major and got straight A’s. When I changed majors to graphic design in college, it was mostly because I didn’t like the idea of working in a conventional hospital or outpatient setting. But now, here I was deciding that the health field was maybe a better fit after all.
My mom suggested I take a look at a holistic nutrition program she’d heard about: The Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN). “Mom,” I said, “That doesn’t look like a real school. I need a degree to be taken seriously. I want to do this right.”
Trouble was, my degree was in art. And to apply to any masters programs in nutrition required a bunch of science courses I had never taken. Plus, these masters programs were wicked expensive and required fulltime attendance. Hmmmm. I looked into the jobs I’d get as a Registered Dietitian and saw that at least in the Boston area everything was a job in a hospital. This was not for me.
I shook off the idea of nutrition and carried on, working in advertising, changing companies and then freelancing. I was looking for something but I really wasn’t finding it. And of course, it’s SCARY to change careers. It’s easier to keep your eyes down and get through the day. And the next day. And the next.
During my yoga teacher training I got to know people who made their living in non-mainstream ways. There were massage therapists and reiki practitioners, acupuncture students and of course, yoga teachers. I guess it got me thinking. These were successful people doing what they loved. So I took another look at IIN.
This time, it was the right time. I read all about the program online and signed up the very next day. I was able to do that because I didn’t need any pre-requisites and I didn’t need to rearrange my life. I simply had to decide that I could travel to New York about once per month for weekend classes. Totally doable! People literally travel from all over the world to attend IIN. All I had to do was take the bus down from Boston. And, the tuition was affordable. I paid in full.
Fast forward to last January. I started school and the very first person I met on the very first day was Laura:
There were tons of people – about 1500 of us in that room! Laura and I sat together and saw Joshua speak for the first time. Joshua is the founder of IIN. He is also the main teacher. Sometimes he’s serious and smart, and sometimes he’s really funny.
Either way, he’s the kind of speaker that keeps you engaged and listening, never nodding off in your seat. I learned so much from him by the way he related to others. I never had a teacher who could talk about death and sex and emotion and food in such a smart, calm way.
But we had lots of other great speakers:Sally Fallon, Paul Pitchford, David Wolfe, Marion Nestle, Howard Lyman, Barry Sears and Deepak Chopra to name a handful. This is world class stuff, people. This is cutting edge information that goes way beyond the political and nonsensical USDA food pyramid.
Sometimes, students became the teachers by sharing their experiences with the group.
And sometimes we got a taste of each other’s talents that went far beyond health counseling.
We made friends. Every weekend, that crowd of 1500 people had more and more familiar faces. We had lunch together in Central Park,
and dinners together at restaurants around the city. Here’s a group of us at Pure Food and Wine on our last class weekend:
We learned a whole lot about nutrition and even more about working with people. I like to say that the school, for me, was 50% about food and 50% vocational training. I really learned HOW to go about counseling others and how to start and market my private practice. Robert Notter runs the business training part of IIN and his guidance was invaluable. I never would have figured out on my own how to get an email newsletter or teleseminar together!
I can’t believe how much learning was packed into this program. We were treated as adults, with many opportunities and very few rules. Do you learn best from reading? Then read. Do you learn best from listening? We got tons of extra lessons via live speakers and mp3s. There was constant support on the online forums – a place to ask questions and talk to other students. In my opinion, the practical assignments were the most helpful. They were the ones that got us out there and doing the work, talking to people, making contacts and doing real work in the world.
Throughout our months together, students did amazing things. Heck, I did amazing things! We watched one woman heal herself from chronic migraines and countless others experiment with diet and lifestyle to achieve better health. An anti-GMO group formed, people started making raw chocolate bars to sell and the GLBT family got together to create Out For Wellness. Everyone started working and making money sharing their love and support with clients.
And 7 months later…we graduated! Many of us will continue on in the Immersion Program – a free 2nd year where we’ll have conference weekends and provide support to the incoming class. In addition to my certification as a health counselor, I’m also certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners. Sweet!
I’m really glad I got to experience IIN in person. It was worth the many bus rides to NYC. I made so many wonderful friends and found strength in doing something like this for myself. But the Distance Learning program is the wave of the future!
I help busy people find balance in their over-worked, over-stressed lives. Trust me, it's not an all-or-nothing situation! A few shifts in diet and lifestyle can rock your world like they did mine. Read on
