Heather Kistilentz had long brown hair, a round face and freckles. I have no idea how to spell her last name, but nevermind. She was my best friend in 3rd grade. I’m not sure what that meant…we must have played together on the weekends? Hung out during recess? I remember listening to George Michael and Salt-n-Pepa together. It made me feel awesome to have a best friend. My very own!
Then Heather’s family moved away.
I wonder if today’s 3rd graders use email to stay in touch? Is there an elementary school Facebook? I hope not. It was sort of a lesson that needed to be learned early on, about the way people come and go in life and how to move on and meet new friends.
Extraordinary things happen in life that we take for granted. I remember staring for hours at my engagement ring, watching it flicker prisms across the room. Now I often forget it’s there. It’s still the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.
Max proposed to me in front of my whole family at Thanksgiving dinner. The bottle of Dom he bought to celebrate was empty, sealed and packaged but empty, making for an even more memorable engagement story. (Yes, the store refunded his money.) I didn’t care a bit. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was so filled with excitement. Someone LOVES me this much?? I’m going to be a BRIDE? I kept touching my ring, worried it would fall off.
Sleep is a weird, weird thing. Think about it. We spend more time sleeping than practically anything else in our entire life. Yet you might just casually ask your partner, “How’d ya sleep?”
I’m considering it a ton lately. Obsessing, perhaps. Yes, definitely. Nighttime sleep is total luck of the draw. The other night I had just fallen asleep when our town set off their late 4th of July fireworks. Another night it was a thunderstorm. And just when it settles down and my eyes flutter shut, the baby monitor wails.
Luckily, Danny is now sleeping a bit more at night. I’m able to occasionally get my snooze on and have real dreams. It’s heaven. I don’t take one moment for granted. And it’s my most prized possession, in need of heavy protection. Whether it’s a new baby or a week of final exams or what-have-you, I’m sure you can relate on some level.
Ok, one of us was wearing pants. This isn’t THAT kind of website.
Here’s the deal. I’ve started dancing in my kitchen. Yes. That is all there is to it. I have a baby who hasn’t napped, a bunch of veggies I must cook before they spoil, and 2 hours before my husband is home from work.
I was feeling blue. This is my life? Baby stuff, baby stuff, I’m sick of it! I haven’t read a real book in months, not even a magazine article. Yoga classes are few and far between. I miss my friends back in Boston. It’s like a big ol’ pity party up in here.
Here’s what I wore today: jean shorts, a t-shirt and a ponytail.
Here’s what I wore yesterday: the same thing.
It’s sort of a new trend called “Put on whatever you can grab the fastest and it doesn’t matter if it’s dirty.” This is…really strange. I’m the kind of girl who can spend 10 minutes on mascara alone, given the chance.
But am I that girl anymore?
The other day I met a friend for lunch downtown and put on a dash of makeup while Danny finished his tiny nap. (I also wore earrings – strategically, they were not grab-able hoops) Taking Danny to lunch is actually fairly easy because he adores new settings and new people. Knock on wood, he never throws a fit in a restaurant or in public in general. A true extrovert.
I been eatin’ a lot of Joe Joes. Know what those are? They’re the Trader Joe’s version of Oreos. Oh man.
My husband started buying them…I started eating them…it’s totally a way I’ve been self medicating between the baby crying and not sleeping, etc. Nice health coach, right? Yeah, way to set an example, Michelle.
I can see exactly what I’m doing though:
I am so stressed/I feel so crazed/I feel so confused…here this nice cookie makes me feel sweet!
Note: I am not recommending this approach. In fact by publicly admitting it I am hoping I will get a grip myself.
I’m sure that anyone who has seen me lately walking down the street would not guess that I am a health coach. Or a coach of any kind. My hair is either slicked back in a wet ponytail or air dried into a mass of curls. My eyes speak of my son’s new “wake ever hour” night routine. My legs might be shaved, but don’t look too closely please.
There are times in everyone’s life where self care takes a backseat. I suppose in college I didn’t do much to take care of myself, period. When I worked long, hard, annoying hours in my previous career, self care amounted to a coffee shop run. So now it’s baby stuff. Whatever. We’ve all been there.
The main thing that has kept me from absolutely crumbling during this time is insisting on eating real food. It isn’t always sexy. It’s sometimes just eggs and frozen spinach hastily defrosted in the pan, possibly still with ice chips as I fork it in. But it’s real, and it’s nourishing, and it’s why I can look at my family and fairly confidently say, “Thank goodness, we may be tired but we are healthy.”
Long holiday weekends can really blow a diet to hell, huh? Between the beer and the chips and the cake and all the food on the grill…
Well for starters, screw dieting. There simply are no “good” or “bad” foods. As a friend of mine would remind me, food is morally neutral. So if you are going to have a great time with friends and that includes a beer and a burger, so be it. Your body will let you know when enough is enough.
If you listen, that is.
So how else can you make it through summer feeling your best?
Welcome to 21 Days of Detoxing! Whether you are one of our amazingly motivated participants or just interested in eating clean, whole, real food – boy do I have some recipes for you! From now ’til May 21st I’ll be featuring a delicious detox-friendly recipe each day. (And if you want to get in on the detox magic I have a Do It Yourself version available – right here.)
Throughout our 21 days, I’ve tried to encourage the group to focus on the positive. In their lives, in their food choices, whatever. Just choosing positivity is the point.
It detoxes us from negative thoughts, and that’s HUGE.
Of course, this all comes during some of the most insane days of my life. Seriously! In the past 21 days I’ve dealt with sleepless nights, a baby who can’t and then won’t eat, my milk drying up, my milk coming back, trips to multiple doctors, therapists and lactation consultants, fussy spells that test my sanity, having to call my mom from out of town to come help me survive it all, and the inevitable marital discord that a new baby can create.
Stay positive???
Yes. That’s what I’m trying to say. Despite whatever shit is going down in your life, how can you frame it in a positive way? This is important work. This has been my work. You can eat kale and quinoa all day, but if your mind is constantly repeating the negative you are simply never going to feel your best.
Today’s recipe…well it may be the most important one yet.
I must have been lugging the drying rack full of cloth diapers out into the backyard when I spotted these beauties. They kinda stopped me in my tracks – something so simple and pretty, so effortless. They’d just appeared out of nowhere.
Stopped. Smiled. I might have even taken a deep breath.
Been kind of crazy around here, if just in my mind. I don’t know, something about a newborn keeps a mom on the edge of her seat. At least this mom. I’ve been appreciating more than ever the small things that bring a smile in between feedings, crying fits and poopy diapers.
A hot shower. A cup of tea. Gorgeous flowers in my neglected backyard. Mmmm.
I help busy people find balance in their over-worked, over-stressed lives. Trust me, it's not an all-or-nothing situation! A few shifts in diet and lifestyle can rock your world like they did mine. (And if you're a health coach, I can help you do the same for your own clients.) Read on
